Gyroball Pitch

Well, now that we’ve all gotten over the thrills and chills of the World Series (har), it’s time for infuriatingly vague and premature trade rumors.

First of all, is Barry Bonds insane? Well, I mean, yes, obviously he is, but does he really expect anyone to pay $14 million for him next year? He’s old, he’s injury prone, he’s moody and manipulative, and he’s the poster boy for steroids, tax fraud, and girlfriend-threatening. Then again, though I can’t imagine either New York team would be interested, at least he’d serve to distract everyone from Alex Rodriguez. “Tonight on SportsCenter: A-Rod is still mired in a 1-for-19 slump –- but first, Barry Bonds has been arrested for assaulting Chris “Mad Dog” Russo with a baseball bat on live television! Coming up next.”

Anyway. I always loved watching Soriano play back when he was on the Yanks -- sure, he swung at everything in the borough, but he did it with a lot of flair -- and I think he'd do well with the Mets, but they really need pitching, not offense (despite what their last seven games of the season might lead you to believe). I’m very intrigued by Matsuzaka for the Yankees, but it’s so risky – it's very hard to accurately predict how pitching stats will translate from the Japanese league (*cough* Hideki Irabu *cough*). Still, I'd welcome anyone who threw a gyroball. I might have to change the name of this blog.

Okay, this is the last time I’m going to say this, I promise—but here’s one for the road: JEFF WEAVER?!?!

There. It's out of my system. Let us never speak of this again.