Please Go a Little Bit Gentler Into That Good Night?

Whatever the YES network pays its analysts... it's not enough.

I was flipping through the channels last night and came across Al Leiter, of all people, on Spike TV's Pros vs. Joes. Now, granted, all I know about this show is what I've read on Deadspin... but seriously, Al Leiter is no John Rocker. In fact, last I heard he was considering running for Congress! What happened?


Not that Leiter embarassed himself -- the "Joes" only got a couple hard-hit balls in many attempts off him, and the Spike TV radar gun clocked him at 91 and 92 miles per hour, once even 93. (Since I can't recall him ever hitting that as a Yankee in his last season, I'm a bit skeptical, but I'm willing to let it pass). Weirdly, the guy who won - by hitting 1 triple in 10 swings, and later getting down a nice bunt - was named David Ortiz.

(UPDATE: Per this SI.com interview Leiter gave on the topic:

This was his opportunity to get back at every beer guzzling, hot dog chomping, chain-smoking blowhard that taunted him during his 18-year career. Although Leiter does wish this chance would have come a few years ago while he was in the visiting bullpen in Philadelphia.

"This is as close as you're going to get to getting back at them on the field," says Leiter, who is the first pitcher to have defeated all 30 MLB teams. "You couldn't get an active athlete to come out here while under contract and really get after it. That would be the best. Having a guy that yells at you at Veteran Stadium, 'Leiter you suck!' and then say, "Come on down." That would be the best reality show ever, but this is pretty close."

So... he's not looking for money, but revenge? I guess I can get behind that.)

Getting a little off-topic, I found it odd that the "Pros" -- in this case, also including Nick Van Exel and Warren Moon -- all root for each other. I mean, as far as I know they weren't friends before this; why not root for the regular dude to win some prize money? Do they feel the reputations of all aging ex-athletes hang in the balance? Or do they just support other rich and famous people on general principles?

Anyway, speaking of retiring pitchers who played for both the Mets and Yankees...Newsday's Dave Lennon reports that El Duque's offseason foot surgery was not for his bunion, as previously thought:

The bunion on his right foot is still there and its causing him problems this spring.

El Duque had surgery to fix a dislocated second toe, which is now actually shorter, affecting his balance. Because of that, Hernandez is lagging behind the other pitchers as he tries to adjust. At the moment, he's planning to face hitters on Saturday.

Duque also talked about retirement for the first time saying its 50-50 after this season. He jokingly slid out his nameplate and said, "Someone else next year."

Jeremy Cothran of the Ledger has further disgusting details. Last year it was arthritis, then bunions... shingles and gout can only be next.





I absolutely love seeing El Duque pitch, and as the only current major leaguer to regularly throw the eephus, for both the Yankees and Mets, he's sort of the patron saint of this blog. After ten years of watching him, and a few group interviews, I still have basically no feel for his personality -- he doesn't much enjoy speaking to reporters and is hilariously shameless about pretending not to speak English, often mere seconds after speaking it perfectly well -- but Hernandez is incredibly inventive on the mound. These days he usually gets hitters out with nothing but rubber bands, thumbtacks and chewing gum, as his fastball is now practically the same speed Joba Chamberlain's changeup, but if anything it's made him even more interesting to watch.

But the guy's a lot older than he claims, and it looks like he's finally reaching the end of the line. There are few players I'll miss more... but I never want to see him on Spike TV.

Pedro, on the other hand, will need his own show.

The Folly Floater

By the way, I never got to say anything about Phil Rizzuto. All the obits have already been written, so I'll skip the full send-off, but Rizzuto really had the right idea about broadcasting -- he obviously loved the game and cared about it, but never took it, or himself, too seriously. (Of course he was a great player too, but I never got to see that firsthand). And he was blatantly partisan, but so good-natured that no one could hold it against him. ESPN producers and on-air talent should be locked in a dark room and forced to watch his broadcasts for days at a time, although really, I suppose, he didn't have the kind of persona you can successfully imitate.

Anyway, Rizzuto's voice can be heard on this semi-famous YouTube clip of Steve Hamilton tossing his "folly floater" eephus pitch to the Indians' Tony Horton circa 1970. Beautiful; I don't think El Duque's ever gotten his that slow. Nice play by Thurman Munson, too, and priceless reaction from both dugouts, the crowd, and Horton himself... with, of course, a great call from Scooter.




[Update: Turns out Horton's professional career had a sad and early end. Too bad; I like his sense of humor.]

More later today on the local nines. That was quite a series the Mets and Padres just played... And that's quite a slider Joba Chamberlain's got. I could happily watch him just pitch to Vlad Guerrero for nine innings.

Eephus of the Year

The Mets are back, baby. For those of you who wonder what an eephus pitch is, look no farther than the sixth inning of tonight's game, when Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez deployed a true classic to end a long, tough at-bat by the A's Eric Chavez. It floated in at 53 mph, giving Chavez time to stare, twitch, blink repeatedly, take a huge swing, and miss by a mile. That is an eephus. Some people will try to convince you that El Duque throws the eephus all the time, but not really; that's just his 67 mph-ish slow, slow curve, which complements his 87 mph fastball and the seven or eight other pitches he throws at odd arm angles in between, including the ones he appears to just make up on the spot. You really do have to love El Duque. Chavez smiled and shook his head as he walked away, which is always the mark of a true eephus -- well, either that or blind rage.

This actually wasn't the Mets' most crisply played game; last night's dominant 9-1 win behind Tom Glavine, his 296th, was really the "they're back" moment. And not so much because of the score, but the attitude: they were having fun again. Reyes was twitching around, dancing and shadowboxing in the dugout; everyone and the ball boy made fun of Tom Glavine, who was thrown out at the plate trying to score from first (he had two hits and two RBIs in the game and is now hitting .333; at this point, the Yankees could really use him at DH). Tonight's game also featured a Paul Lo Duca meltdown of truly epic proportions, which was both highly entertaining and slightly alarming -- it took the assembled talents of the entire Mets coaching staff to coax him back to the dugout. You know, anyone can think to toss their helmet, bat, and gloves onto the field, but adding the shin guards and chest protector was a nice touch. As with most creative endeavors, it's all in the details.

The Yankees are also back, but unfortunately, in their case, this is not a good thing. More on them tomorrow. Oy.

Speaking of which, apparently this is Jewish Baseball Week and no one remembered to tell me: the Times has an article about the new Israel Baseball League. This is a nice idea and I hope it works out -- hell, the more baseball the better as far as I'm concerned, wherever, whenever. The league will feature a 51-year-old pitcher from Nyack; expect to see Ricky Henderson playing there by next year. (The article doesn't say: do you have to be Jewish to play in the league? Both ethically and for the sake of quality play, I certainly hope the answer is no).

Unfortunately their director of player development over there is Dan "it's 1996, and this seems like a good time to publicly declare that Roger Clemens is in the twilight of his career" Duquette. And they're all excited, because the demand for tickets is so high, they had to double the available seating at one field to accommodate the fans... from, uh, 1,000 to 2,000. Yay?

Oh well, I shouldn't make fun, they're just getting started. Watch out, Devil Rays! The Modi'in Miracle are coming for your attendance records!

Saint Eeephus Rides Again

It was a good night for El Duque, the patron saint of this blog (being one of the only current major leaguers who'll actually throw an occasional eephus). He went seven innings, throwing a cornucopia of pitches from all arm angles and occasionally, as catcher Paul Lo Duca put it after the game, “inventing stuff out there.” And as if that weren’t enough, he went two for three at the plate, doubling in two runs.

The big question with Hernandez (other than “but seriously, how old IS this guy”?) is always whether he’ll stay healthy, not how well he'll do when he is. But the Mets are starting out with a bang, proving yet again the utter irrelevancy of spring training records. In two games they’ve scored 10 runs, allowed two, and turned seven double plays, all against the team they lost an excruciating Game 7 to last fall.

Continuing the exorcise-the-demons theme, tomorrow they face former deeply ineffective Mets closer Braden Looper, who is now suddenly a starter. Converting Looper seems like a bad idea to me, if only because it implies a kind of scrambling desperation, and April’s a bit early for that… but then again, you know if I trash the idea at any length he’ll come out and throw a one-hitter. Worked for Gil Meche, didn’t it?

"Hey Coney, Why Don't YOU Have A Dance?"

First of all, Orlando Hernandez threw an eephus pitch in Friday night’s Mets game, to the Braves’ large pinch hitter Daryle Ward. Result: biiiiiiig swing and a total miss, causing much amusement and reminiscing among the Mets announcers and making El Duque the official mascot of this website. Man, I hope he pulls that out in the playoffs.

The Twins pulled off an absolutely insane comeback to win the AL Central over the Tigers today, which is great news not only for anyone who loves a great sports story, but for the Yankees. Twins fans are going to be talking about this year until they’re drooling into their nursing home pillows, and a lot longer than that if you happen to believe in an afterlife. First of all, awesome, and second, I told you -- not about the Twins, though I was pulling for them, but about how you just can’t be too impressed by a team whose putative ace is Kenny Rogers. The Detroit GM could have asked any New Yorker over the age of, say, 17 about this, and saved himself a lot of trouble and money. And I know there’s no better way to make yourself look like an idiot than to try and predict a short playoff series… so I’m not going to start now, I guess… but, honestly, I will be flat-out stunned if the Tigers beat the Yankees. Anything can happen, sure, of course, but you’ll have to scrape my jaw off the floor with a spatula.

Beyond that, I have no clue, but I’ve got to say, The Twins are trailing acres of magic pixie dust right now. Brad Radke is a lunatic, but in a really impressive way: he pitched most of the year with a torn labrum (all you need to know is it’s in the shoulder, and it sounds painful) because he planned to retire at the end of the season; now he’s also pitching, and pitching pretty well, with a still-healing fractured shoulder. Meanwhile, Johan Santana hasn’t lost a game at home this year… at all. Which is one of those stats that normally would sound a lot more significant than it actually is, what with wins not being a very accurate means of evaluating a pitcher -- but in this case, he's just that good.

In the NL, I once again find myself struggling to stay awake every time the Padres are on my TV screen for more than 20 seconds or so. I don’t know what it is about that team, but I’ve always been utterly unable to care about them one way or the other, or even pay attention. The 1998 World Series was fun for me, but objectively, it was fairly boring baseball, because that Padres team was vastly, cosmically, overmatched. I do retain fond memories of David Wells (because really, if you can live that lifestyle, and still have an excellent career, and pitch a perfect game, you’re kind of my hero), but beyond that… I don’t know, am I missing something? Come to think of it, in my entire life I don’t think I’ve ever even met a Padres fan. The Dodgers are certainly a more interesting team, but if there’s any justice in this world the Mets will flatten them like pancakes, Pedro be damned. And finally, after the last few weeks, it’s hard to feel that the Cardinals actually deserve to be in the playoffs at all; but they do have Albert Pujols, and if anyone can win three games more or less single-handedly you’d have to assume it’s him.

As for the Yankees’ latest, and last, meaningless regular season game, it was great to see Bernie Williams get that two-out, bottom-of-the-ninth, pinch-hit double today (not to mention manage). Not only because you had to be happy for him, but because potentially, he could do some damage in that role in the playoffs. Bernie Williams may not be Bernie Williams anymore, but he’s still Bernie Williams, if you know what I mean.