July 01, 2007

It Was Always Burning, Since The World's Been Turning

I'm not a scout or anything. I never played the game myself. But I'm pretty sure that when relief pitchers start burning their equipment in front of the Yankee Stadium dugout, it's a sign that the season might not be going as well as one would have hoped.

Bryan Hoch has the scoop at his mlb.com Yankee blog:

"After the clubhouse was closed to reporters, Proctor emerged from the Yankees dugout dressed in shorts and a gray t-shirt, lugging articles of his equipment down the tunnel and torching them in a smoky blaze. Proctor stood at the top step of the dugout watching the fire for about five minutes before dousing it with a large water jug, sending a plume of black smoke headed up to the press box."

And here Kyle Farnsworth thought he was a badass with his bat-smashing and glove-throwing... please. Of course, you have to wonder if maybe Scott Proctor wouldn't be pitching so poorly had Joe Torre not used him in literally 123 of the last 239 Yankee games.

Proctor may be emerging as the first Yankee since Paul O'Neill who forces you to simultaneously appreciate and be alarmed by just how much he cares: Don't root for him to get the next batter out because of the score; root for him to get the next batter out so he doesn't have a complete breakdown on national television.

I'd say the ante has been upped considerably for the rest of the team; smashing a water cooler is hardly going to make an impression anymore. "Tuesday night on the YES network: will the Yankee bats heat up against Minnesota? Or will Jorge Posada be forced to strangle an adorable puppy on the field with his bare hands? Don't forget to tune into Yankees Batting Practice Today an hour before the game for complete analysis and exclusive interviews!"

3 comments:

Al said...

1. Up In Smoke

2. Smoke A Dope

3. Burnin’ Down Da’ House!

4. Flame Out

5. Firing Squad

6. "Fry Baby"

7. Frying Panned

8. Burn Out

9. "That's Hot"

10. Ya' Fired!

11. The Bronx is Burning

12. En Fuego

13. Smoke'm Out

14. Da Ruth is on Fire

15. Slash and Burn

16. Burn Baby Burn

17. Fire-Man

Emma said...

Wow. I like Da Ruth is on Fire...

But in retrospect, I regret not going with "Bonfire of the Vanities" as a subject.

Al said...

I did think Billy Joel's song was a bit low on cred & tread.

I coulda been worse, at least it wasn't Journey ala Jersey (my people, mine ya).

coulda gone with "The Bonfire of the Toiletries"

Ziiiiiingggg!