Pittsburgh Pirate John Wesley Van Benschoten, who, thanks to the Mets, is currently sporting an ERA of 27.00... and who sounds like he could actually have been a literal pirate. Didn't I once read about some fabled sea battle between him and Sir Francis Drake?
He's not the original Dread Pirate Wesley, you know.
'I am not the Dread Pirate' he said. 'My name is Xavier; I inherited it from the previous Dread Pirate, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate, either. His name was Kiner. The real one has been semi-retired for a few years and living like a king in a broadcast booth with his name on it.'
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He's not the original Dread Pirate Wesley, you know.
'I am not the Dread Pirate' he said. 'My name is Xavier; I inherited it from the previous Dread Pirate, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate, either. His name was Kiner. The real one has been semi-retired for a few years and living like a king in a broadcast booth with his name on it.'
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