May 19, 2008

Pizzle Rot in the Bronx

Hey, Mets fans -- never say the Yankees never did anything for you!

It's going to take many more than two games for the Mets to prove they've turned a corner, but this weekend certainly started things off in the right direction. Whether it was actually mental -- a team meeting, clearing the air, finally playing with the much-vaunted "sense of urgency" -- or just the expected offensive improvement finally arriving, the Mets looked better than they have in many many months.

They also made a good argument for some form of instant replay. Can someone please explain the reasoning against this? How do you justify having the truth readily available to hundreds of thousands of schmoes watching on TV, but denying it to the handful of professionals actually getting paid to determine the correct call? Of course, this kind of thing happens all the time... but now that it took place during a game roughly half our nation's sports writers were covering, maybe we can finally get something moving here.

Meanwhile, back on the farm:

So my dad lives upstate and has a bunch of sheep, and apparently some of his flock have become infected with something called "Pizzle Rot." Now, I do not know what exactly Pizzle Rot is, nor do I care to find out*, but this is still my new favorite term. It sounds like something you'd get from unprotected sex with Snoop Dogg. Extremely vivid, and so even if you've never heard it before, you probably have a good enough sense of its meaning to use it in a sentence.

As in, "this Yankees team plays like they've got Pizzle Rot."

As noted in this space earlier, May is too early, in my opinion, for panic, or even intense worry. This is the time for stewing. The odds of the Yankees pulling off a phoenix-like resurrection two years running are slim; I don't know that they'll win their division this year, or even claw their way to the Wild Card. But that said, the odds of the Yankees ultimately playing better than this? Pretty damn good.

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*I only got as far as "The infected ulcers can spread through the opening to the mucosa of the preputial cavity." Okay! I refuse to Google "preputial cavity"**; some things can never be unlearned. You know, when I was little, I wanted to be a vet...

**Fine -- curiosity got the better of me, and I looked it up. Not recommended. Associated key words: "cesspool," "wetness," "protozoa," "bladder," "circumcision," "scrotal skin," "smegma or bacteria."

Eephus Pitch: your go-to source for commentary on New York baseball and obscure ovine scrotal diseases!

5 comments:

SP said...

The Mets made it look easy to beat the Yankees best pitcher, and not slow down. That's probably the best sign about them right now. They also could've crumbled in complaints after that bad call earlier in the game, but they didn't.

Anonymous said...

I'm the aforementioned farmer/father of Emma, and I wrote about "Pizzlerot" on my own blog, bedlamfarm.com. Pizzlerot is an infection of the penis that that is transmitted to wethers - neutered male sheep when they lie on straw or hay that infected sheep have been on.
It is cured by repeated doses of iodine and alcohol on the infected areas three times a week for several weeks. Never though of the term in connection with the Yankees, but hey, Emma has always loved the sound of strange words.

JL25and3 said...

Emma, you'll be pleased to know that you're now listed seventh in a google search for "pizzle rot." It may not be quite as good as your coup last year with - was it "fairy rape?" - but it's still damn fine work.

Anonymous said...

Emma, I read your Dad's blog probably twice a day so I can keep up with what is happening on the farm with the dogs, sheep, donkeys, friends, etc. I really enjoy it! I also love that word "pizzle rot" even though it has a nasty meeting. It's just a great word to say. Hope you have a wonderful time with him this weekend. Sounds like he could use a few days in the city for a change. Also hope your team wins, as long as they are not playing the Phillies! Karen L.

Julian said...

Don't turn away, Emma -- it's all part of life's rich pageant!