Ohhhh, Fight

In theory, I do not approve of multimillionaire professional adults punching and shoving each other over some macho bullshit.

However I have to admit that whenever it actually happens, I'm all "Ohhhh, fight!!!"

Actually I missed seeing Tuesday's Yankees-Jays brawl live because I was watching the Mets lose to the Braves, which was not so remarkable (thought I admit it took me quite a few minutes to place Mets starter Patrick Misch), but I was doing it at "Amazin' Tuesday" on the LES, which was a lot of fun.

The first thing I thought when I saw clips of the fight was, of course the first real Yankees brawl in years happens AFTER they finally got rid of Kyle Farnsworth. Because that is basically the only good reason to have Farnsworth on one's team, as has been repeatedly proven in independent studies.

Anyway, I had no idea Joe Girardi could move that fast - he got to the scene quicker than anyone else from either dugout. I guess nothing motivates a guy quite like seeing hundreds of millions of dollars (and thousands of pounds) worth of stars heading for a hostile dogpile. There was a whole lot of VORP shoving around in that mess.

I'm dwelling on a game from four days ago because (A) I cannot ever pass up the opportunity for a Kyle Farnsworth joke, and (B) tonight's game ended with a sin against nature in the form of a walk-off home run off of Mariano Rivera. I don't like to dwell on such games because, quite frankly, the universe already seems frightening, random, and meaningless enough as it is.

Next blog post: time to talk about the Mets. But god, where do I start?

We Are All Interested In The Future, For That Is Where You And I Are Going To Spend The Rest Of Our Lives

The Amazing A-Rod predicts!:... that Derek Jeter will win an MVP this season. I don't know how, exactly, but people will find a way to get mad at him for this.

Speaking of predictions, Jimmy Rollins replied to Carlos Beltran's, and then the Mets responded to that, and then Ryan told Jose that he heard from Brett that... yeah, there's not much real baseball news just yet. Select anonymous Phillies have apparently mentioned brawls, which reminds me that neither the Mets or the Yanks had even one actual fight last year -- just a scuffle each, with some shouting and your basic "hold me back!" posturing.

While few things in sports are sillier than a baseball fight, I have to admit part of me wants the Yankees to have one this season; it's the last year of Kyle Farnsworth's contract, and that's pretty much the only thing he excells at. (Seriously, if you haven't watched this clip of Farnsworth vs. Jeremy Affeldt during a Tigers-Royals brawl, you are depriving yourself of hours of enjoyment). Seems like a waste if the Yankees don't get even one jaw-dropping tackle for their money.

However, as for the Mets, I say let the Phillies run their mouths: I don't want to see an opposing player come within 10 feet of Johan Santana's left arm at any time, for any reason.

One more prediction for the road (via RAB): Kevin Millar says the Orioles are gonna win it all, baby! He's kidding, of course - and aiming some jokey trash talk at the Cubs' Ryan Dempster, another prediction-happy player. Still: it's probably not a good sign when a team's veteran players are openly joking about how ludicrous it would be for them to win a championship, you know?

The Day After the All-Star Game is a Time For Reflection

... and brawls. Like this overlooked gem from a Tigers-Royals game last summer. The whole clip is about five mintues long, but it's well worth the time. Click on the link, under the photo, for "Guillen’s HBP starts scrum." It co-stars our own Kyle "Farnsy" Farnsworth, and even though so far this season he has turned the eighth inning into a time for older Yankees fans to reach for their heart medication... well, Kyle Farnsworth is kind of awesome.

What really makes this clip, however, is the Detroit announcers. I don't know who these guys are, but they really rose to the occasion. Sample quote: “You knew when Big Boy got there, it was gonna get on!"