Armando Benitez Has NO Natural Cow Sense

Spring training news and notes:

*The Mets have the right idea. They're occupied with trying to surreptitiously balance things on Luis Castillo's head -- bubble gum, plastic cups -- while the Yankees are getting into shoving matches with the Devil Rays to defend the honor of Francisco Cervelli. Or something.

*Logically, I realize it must somehow seem like a good idea to sign Armando Benitez... because teams keep doing it. But I'm damned if I can understand why. The Blue Jays must not have watched many Giants games last season.

*Young Yankees pitcher Ross Ohlendorf has "a lot of natural cow sense." That's good to hear. After all, how many promising pitching prospects have we gotten excited about over the years, only to see them fall short at the Major League level due to a tragic lack of cow sense? Never again!

*The Red Sox traveled by plane to a spring training game recently. The Twins, naturally, did not, and wise and sparkly-eyed little baseball elf Ron Gardenhire shared some old bus ride stories:

"... the bus catches on fire and Big Fella [clubhouse legend Wayne Hattaway] tells Tom Kelly, 'I'm not leaving, T.K. I'm going down with the ship.'

Wayne Hattaway is a great character, by the way, and still going.

The Dude abides

*Joel Sherman of the Post has a good story about Shelley Duncan, who sparked yesterday's silly "benches-clearing incident" by spiking the Devil Rays' second baseman:

Shelley Duncan Shelley Duncan once had a minor-league incident, in the Florida State League, when all heck broke loose on the field around him. He had slid into second base and the shortstop on Detroit’s Single-A team had thrown from an unnaturally low angle, at least in Duncan’s opinion, and nearly hit the sliding Duncan in the head. He chased around the shortstop all over the field as the benches and dugouts emptied. But he never did catch the shortstop. The identity of the shortstop: Current Mets New York Mets farmhand Anderson Hernandez Anderson Hernandez . And Duncan says the two became friends after the incident.

What's great about this is that Hernandez didn't even consider any of the usual macho posturing, but just turned and ran like the wind. Quite right, too, since he's about half Duncan's size.

Bob Shaw and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I went deep into the Yankees' latest... well let's see, I've already used "disaster," "debacle," "tragedy"... say, how about "cataclysm"? Let's go with that. I went deep into the Yankees' latest cataclysm over at the Banter.

As for Los Mets, that was their oddest walkoff yet. As if Endy's winning drag bunt wasn't enough, now they're tying a game on two balks in the twelfth inning? How is that even poss-- ohhhhhh. That's right, Armando Benitez is the Giants' closer this year! Suddenly it all makes sense. As Carlos Delgado, whose second homer of the night won the game, put it in the Times:

"I don’t know the history, but I could tell by the welcome he got... It’s not my problem, it is something he has to deal with, but he is not well liked here."

Indeed. You know, I feel for Giants fans. That team's got such a long, proud history, but they can't be much fun to watch at the moment. As if the Bonds mess wasn't enough, now they have to deal with the vicissitudes of Benitez, too. (The Vicissitudes of Benitez: possible band name?). At least they have Omar Vizquel's jaw-dropping defense to keep them warm at night, I suppose. And little Timmy Lincecum, who was in fact very impressive.

In the video highlights, check out how Reyes is flitting around third base, basically drawing the second balk. Granted, under the right circumstances, you could probably get Benitez to balk just by clearing your throat, but nevertheless -- reason #374 why Jose Reyes is awesome. I almost feel bad bringing it up, because at this point he's being so hyped all over the place, but what are you going to do?

Also, on some level we all know what a balk is -- you know it when you see it -- but it must be the hardest concept in all of baseball to explain. I was recently trying to get it across to a visiting Brit, and I don't think I did a very good job, but then the official rules aren't exactly a succinct beacon of clarity, either.

However, in case you were wondering, the record for balks in a game by one pitcher is five: Bob Shaw, for Milwaukee, in 1963. That same day, the team set an all-time record, with six. I wouldn't mind seeing that one on ESPN Classic.