Political Grandstanding: Much Less Fun Than Actual Grandstanding

As you may have heard by now, the owners have extended Bud Seligs's contract through 2012. Of course. Now, some of my reasons for intensely disliking Selig are fair (collusion) and some are not (less charisma than a piece of sushi), but I think this is my problem in a nutshell: if the rich people who control everything love you this much, there's just no way you're actually doing a good job.

Speaking of Selig, I was going to blog about the congressional steroid hearings, but they proved too frustrating to watch intently for more than half an hour (not that I didn't love Rep. Shayes asking Mitchell about Rafael "Palmerry" and whether or not he'd tested positive before his "300th hit". I'm sure our health care system will be fixed any week now). So I'm all Mitchell Report-ed out, and then I realized: maybe that was MLB's plan all along -- to make their fans so incredibly sick of hearing about PEDs that they eventually just completely stop caring? I think it's working. Maybe I've underestimated Selig after all.

In other non-news, the Mets continue to get everyone's hopes up by hanging in the Johan Santana sweepstakes, and while Omar Minaya did not acquire any bullpen help, he did travel to Israel. Good call, and if he's really not going to acquire another solid starting pitcher, I'd also recommend stopping by Mecca and Rome.

Mysteries of Pittsburgh

The Mets have had plenty of injuries this season, but not, I'd say, a truly abnormal amount. Still, has any other team had such random injuries? How does a young guy like Carlos Gomez fracture his hand on a checked swing, exactly? And now Jose Valentine has fractured his tibia by fouling a ball off his leg. It wasn't shattered a la Jermaine Dye -- that was one of the most gruesome baseball injuries I can recall watching live* -- but it probably ended his season.

Speaking of age, I was glad to see Julio Franco land on his feet, even if it is with the Braves, and even if both parties seem a bit grouchy about the breakup. A lot of Mets fans, by the time he was released, had started to resent his presence on the team a bit, and there's no denying he wasn't very useful this year, even as a pinch hitter. Still, let's never forget how cool it is that the man is about to turn 49 years old. Also, earlier this season he broke his own record to become the oldest man ever to hit a home run in the majors, and he did it off The Big Grumpy himself, Randy Johnson. So I will, pretty much, love him forever.

Last night Tom Glavine got win #299 (and A-Rod hit home run #499). These are impressive milestones -- Glavine's far more so -- but I hate the inevitable countdown superhype we'll now have to go through with every start or at-bat. And, yes, I have decided to completely ignore Barry Bonds in the hopes that he will eventually go away. I'm not watching his at-bats no matter how many times ESPN tries to make me. Part of me does hope it takes him weeks and weeks to get it, though... if only because it will be a sort of poetic justice for Bud Selig to be forced to traipse glumly around the country after him, however long it takes. Now will you admit you should have pushed harder and more publicly for testing back in the 90s?

Anyway, the Mets seem to be back in their groove, though it's hard to tell when they're playing the Pirates. Seriously, how bad are the Pirates? Ace pitcher Ian Snell's immediate family members are now calling the team losers. "I'm starting to break," says Snell in that article. Yikes! Okay, as soon as they get out of New York, I'm officially rooting for Pittsburgh. These guys need some wins in the worst way.

That said, they really are terrible. In one eighth-inning play against the Mets last night, the pitcher failed to cover a base, no one on the Pirates seemed to know where the ball was supposed to go, and somehow an errant throw by catcher Ryan Doumit hit Shawn Green in the head as he dove back into third. Honestly, I'm not even sure what happened there; it bore only a vague resemblance to baseball as we traditionally know it. As Keith Hernandez put it, sounding genuinely confused and slightly hurt, "the Pirates did so many things wrong on that play..."

Between them and the Reds, and the Yankees' stretch against Tampa, Toronto, and Kansas, I've watched an awful lot of bad baseball over the last few weeks. Good thing they can wrap up these series tomorrow and move on to... oh... uh, the Orioles and Nationals. Aaaargh!



*Up there with Nick Johnson's broken leg (especially sickening in person -- it was almost a year ago and he still isn't recovered enough to play), Brian Roberts' elbow (eeeeeew!), and probably worst of all, the Beltran/Cameron outfield collision, which is why as far as I'm concerned no one is ever, EVER allowed to get on Beltran for shying away from balls dropping just between him and his right fielder.

You know, it's funny... I always liked Bubba Crosby when he was with the Yanks, but when I see his name the first things I think of are him crashing into Sheffield in the outfield during the '05 playoffs, and Brian Roberts' horrifically mangled elbow. That's quite a legacy for an innocuous little fourth outfielder.

Who's More 'Now': Bud Selig or Kenesaw Mountain Landis?

I can't believe I'm saying this so soon after sitting through the Home Run Derby (Back-back-back-back-[MUTE]!), but for once I'm actually on ESPN's side, as MLB reveals itself once again to be a lumbering, self-destructive dinosaur:

ESPN won't be able to allowed to broadcast its "Baseball Tonight" show live from the All-Star game in San Francisco on Tuesday night.

Major League Baseball limited ESPN's access this week after the cable network broke an embargo and announced the All-Star rosters before the end of a selection show on TBS.

You just can't do this anymore. If you broadcast something on national TV, it becomes common knowledge. It's going to be all over the internet within seconds, and then how can you really ask news programs -- though I use this term loosely with regards to ESPN -- not to cover it? They'll be scooped by a thousand websites. The fact that we're talking about All-Star Game selections here, as opposed to actual important news that people care about, means this particular instance is probably not ideal material for a first amendment-based lawsuit. But MLB is being painfully clueless here. And also here... god help us all.

Of course, this is also an example of how ESPN's business interests will never allow it to be a true news entity. Remember when the network aired Bonds on Bonds... while simultaneously pretending to neutrally cover Barry's home run chase? Or when they stopped airing hockey and basically never mentioned the NHL ever again? I understand the economic necessity behind it, I just wish they'd be more honest about it: ESPN is far too financially involved with the sports it covers to maintain any sort of impartiality. Just look what happens when it tries: They kept John Kruk and Steve Phillips out of the All-Star Game! You bastards!

Meanwhile, SportsCenter just ran the abomination that is the "Who's Now?" segment. "Who's more 'now': Alex Rodriguez or Terrell Owens?" I'm sorry, who's more... I... you just... okay, you know what? Forget I said anything: MLB and ESPN deserve each other.

In other, non-bitter-rant news:

- Check out "Ol' Butterfly-Head, Brian Roberts." Awesome. Quote of the day: "I can't imagine he knows he's got a butterfly on his head." Runner-up quote of the day: "Kinda speaks to the fact that there’s not a lot going on when the Rangers are up at bat here." Thank you, Uni Watch.

- Unfortunately for Met fans, you can't really hate the Phillies after this.



Check out this clip of the entire team running out of the dugout to help the Colorado grounds crew wrestle the tarp onto the field during a viciously windy rainstorm. And check it out quick, before MLB has it removed from YouTube, because Bud Selig grew up in the Cretaceous. Really nice moment... although, uh, where the hell were the Rockies? It's just LaTroy Hawkins out there by himself. Even a couple of umpires joined in, forcing me to question my long-held assumption that they are all demonic spawn sent to this earth to torment the honest, hardworking baseball fans in the Stadium bleachers.

Three Thousand Years Of Beautiful Tradition, From Moses To Sandy Koufax...

I have a recap of last night's Yankee game up at the Banter. I watched today's too, but let's stick to the short version: bleargh. As for the Mets... oh, hell, you don't really want a recap of that game, either, do you? I miss the Cyclones already.

The Mets' slump is devouring everything in its path and expanding exponentially, like the Blob. Sure, the fact that the Braves and Phillies have been nearly as bad means the Mets are still in first place, against all the odds, having won just four games all month... but though I still think they'll eventually be fine, I'm now starting to wonder why I still think so.

The Yanks, after scoring just five runs in three games at Coors Field to get swept by the Rockies, are right back at .500. Just can't stay away, can they? They're playing the Giants next, and at this point I'm just hoping for the moral victory of not allowing a home run to Barry Bonds: he's gonna get there, but it would be nice if he did so without help from the Yankee pitching staff. Even this may be too much to ask from Kei Igawa, though, making his non-triumphant return to the rotation tomorrow.

In other news, Jason Giambi caved somewhat to Bud Selig's bullying, and agreed to meet with the Mitchell Committee -- though it sounds like all his answers will be carefully scripted by lawyers, and he's not talking about anyone else's drug use, only his own. Which... we all already knew about. Three years ago. My, isn't this a satisfying blow for truth and justice!

Selig again left open the possibility of punishment.

"I will take Mr. Giambi's level of cooperation into account in determining appropriate further action," he said.

Translation: "I reserve the right to try and suspend Giambi even though the chances of such disciplinary action standing up in court, after the inevitable challenge from the player's union, are roughly equivalent to the chances of my scoring a hat trick in a hockey game played at Hell Arena." Inspirational leadership, that, especially since Giambi's probably out for the year anyway with his foot injury. Ugh! This whole episode is like three separate empty gestures wrapped up in one.

Finally, I realize I'm a bit late on this one, but American Jewish Life Magazine makes the argument that all American Jews should root for the Boston Red Sox (via Deadspin).

I plan to refute this claim while eating a cheeseburger at work on Saturday.

But Hey, The Wild Card Was a Really Good Idea

Okay, it's probably time to start worrying about the Mets now. Panicking, no. But worrying? Get to it. They've had some lousy luck, and a ton of injuries, but if they don't come out of their mini-tailspin this week, things could start getting out of hand... or maybe I'm just responding to last night's Willie Randolph post-game press conference, which took place in a dark, claustrophobic tunnel bathed in deep red light. That was kind of disconcerting.

The Mets took a break Monday from losing to the Phillies and Tigers in order to lose to the Dodgers; even after all these years, I'm still a little bit surprised, every time Grady Little appears on my television screen, that someone has hired him again as a major league manager. I'm being a little harsh here, since he's actually got a very high winning percentage in his managerial career... but when you hear the words Grady Little, isn't some variation on "what the fuck was he thinking?!" the first phrase that comes to mind?

The Yankees are finally looking respectable-ish these days. Yesterday's New York Times' multimedia headline was, "For Yankees, There is an 'O' In June." At the risk of sounding juvenile, I'm thinking that could have been phrased better, but you get the idea. The Wild Card no longer looks like such a stretch. And after that miserable start, all I'm asking for from this team is a legitimate race... okay, and .500. It would be really nice if they got over .500.

Meanwhile Bud Selig continues to drive me steadily insane. He's now threatening Jason Giambi with more severe disciplinary action if he doesn't spill his guts to the Mitchell Commission, all because of comments Giambi made in USA Today suggesting that, shock!, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for MLB to apologize for the unchecked steroid use that went on for over a decade directly under Selig's nose (I may be paraphrasing there just a tad).

Look, I don't want to defend steroid users. Jason Giambi isn't exactly the ideal guy to be calling for an apology from anyone, and he should absolutely have been suspended... in, say, 2001, when he was admittedly taking "that stuff"*. Unfortunately Selig hadn't bothered to fight the Player's Association very hard for testing at that point, at least not publicly, and he keeps insisting that he didn't know what a problem it was at the time. But come on. While the Guillermo Motas and Matt Lawtons of 'roiding are tough to spot, I have friends who don't even watch baseball and yet realized years ago that Giambi was juicing; all you had to do was look at photos of him as a young player to know that something was going on there. Ditto Barry Bonds. Hint: when the actual size and shape of an adult skull changes dramatically over a two-year period, that's not normal. If Selig really had no idea, which I doubt (just like I don't buy that the Yankees were clueless about Giambi's possible steroid use when they signed him), he certainly should have. And now, WAY too late to do any good, we get this bullying, legally shaky crusade. Gah.

Okay, rant over, sorry -- I'm sick of the topic too. In any case, I think we can all agree that if The Commish had any integrity, he would never have allowed this to happen. (Via Uni Watch).



*It's possible he still is, of course. Perhaps the money being poured into the Mitchell Commission would be better spent developing a reliable HGH test.

Was That Really Necessary?

Well, I just watched baseball's first-ever televised draft... and I regret it. Deeply. I read up on some of the likely top candidates beforehand, but the truth is I'm not qualified to have much of an opinion on draft selections, and any case, it's by all accounts an epic crapshoot. It's not like basketball or football where a lot of fans know who these people are and have seen them play on a regular basis; and while being a great college basketball player gives you pretty decent odds on being at least a solid NBA player, the same does not hold true with baseball.

Plus, and this is really my main bone of contention: Bud Selig, whatever you may think of his policies, has the charisma of a dead halibut. Just fifteen seconds of that nasal monotone and I feel my eyelids drooping uncontrollably; this man should not be on my television screen for more than two minutes at a time, let alone four hours, and if I sound harsh, it's only because I'm feeling somewhat traumatized. I will now stare at Jose Reyes on my TV screen for as long as it takes to get that taste out of my mouth and rediscover my joie de vivre.

Anyway, I'd certainly heard of Vanderbilt pitcher David Price, who was expected to go first and did. He had this great anxious smile on his face, which managed to combine "awesome, I'm the #1 draft pick in the country!" and "oh god, I have to go play for the Devil Rays now." This whole worst-teams-pick-first thing, I get the reason for it, but it really punishes the nation's best amateur athletes, doesn't it? You have earned the respect of the country's most knowledgeable scouts as a true competitor... congrats! Enjoy Kansas City!

With the 30th pick in the draft, the Yankees took a pitcher named Andrew Brackman, who I will now immediately begin confusing with Wally Backman. Apologies in advance. The consensus seems to be that he's massively talented (and tall! very tall!) but comes with some health concerns. People who know more about this than I do seem to think it's a good idea, and hopefully they're right; when I think about it, I suppose I like the idea of a riskier, higher-upside move. You can usually find a solidly mediocre pitcher on the free-agent market, after all -- no need to waste a draft pick on it.

The Mets, meanwhile, took a reliever named Eddie Kunz. Another year I might have mocked the notion of taking a reliever with your top pick. This season, though, I look at Luis Vizcaino, Ron Villone, and the grisly remains of Scott Proctor's right arm chilling in the Yankee bullpen and say, "good thinking."