Idle Hands Are the Devil Rays' Playground

You can only strand dozens of reporters in Florida with no real news to cover for so long before they will, out of sheer desperation, latch onto the first vaguely controversial thing they can find; it took a while this year, but the Yankees finally have their first good and meaningless spring training kerfluffle. (Unless you count Kyle Farnsworth mouthing off about Joe Torre, but I refuse to dignify that with the term "kerfluffle", because seriously: until you get your ERA down from 4.8, nobody wants to hear it).

So: Tampa Bay Devil (yeah, you heard me) Rays minor leaguer Elliot Johnson ran over Yankees minor league catcher Francisco Cervelli in a play at the plate, and Cervelli ended up with a fractured arm. Joe Girardi was upset that Johnson played so aggressively, risking injury, during a meaningless spring training game; then Devil Rays manager Joe Maddon got defensive. Now everyone's favorite gerbil, Tampa adviser Don Zimmer, who does not take kindly to this soft, newfangled, try-not-to-maim-your-opponent style of wussy-ball, has criticized Girardi. And the Yankees are muttering vaguely about payback. Betrayal! Violence! Revenge!

Well, if by "betrayal" you mean "Zim being a little grouchy," and by "revenge" you mean "drilling some no-name Devil Rays prospect in the ass with a fastball in a ST game". So you probably don't need to buy the movie rights just yet. Though I actually wouldn't mind a Yankees-Devil Rays rivalry, since if you have to watch Tampa play 18 times a year, those games might as well have a little added spark -- yes, this is the year everybody's picking Tampa to not suck, and I understand the logic, but I'll believe it when I see it.

That said, this particular mini-controversy is completely silly. The Rays player, Johnson, wasn't trying to hurt anybody; he only had a fraction of a second to decide what to do, he's trying to impress his coaches, he went for it. I think it was dumb, because you really should go out of your way not to injure anyone in March, but I can see how it'd happen. (The Twins' Ron Gardenhire, official Manager I'd Most Like To Have a Beer With, agrees with me, or rather I agree with him, because Ron Gardenhire is a wise and sparkly-eyed little baseball elf).

See?

There was no malicious intent on Johnson's part, so far as we know, and there's no need to "retaliate" -- this isn't Clemens-Piazza here, no one threw at anyone's head. These things happen, and frankly, while this may sound callous, the Yanks should just be counting their lucky stars it wasn't Jorge Posada.



Meanwhile, I've been thinking a lot about El Duque's proposed new delivery -- he's trying to lower his iconic leg kick in an effort to keep pressure off his bunion. Yes, I just admitted to thinking a lot about a middle-aged man's bunion; leave me alone.

While there are many, many people involved in this process -- El Duque himself, Willie Randolph, Rick Peterson, etc -- who know vastly more about changing deliveries than I do, it still strikes me as something of a harebrained scheme. And it's a little poignant, because the sky-high leg kick has become such a part of Hernandez's legend; I used to* try and imitate it when I threw the ball for my dog. It's hard to imagine him being the same pitcher without it.

But the more I think about it, the more this attempt by El Duque actually fits. After all, he didn't start drawing his knee up to his ear because it looked cool; he did it because it confused the hell out of batters. Hernandez is constantly switching speeds and arm angles just to gain a slight deceptive edge, and vanity is not one of his concerns, hence the eephus pitch. So it makes sense that when things aren't working, he's willing to experiment -- to try anything, really, however odd or unlikely.

If he's not already using a little dab of Vaseline on the ball from time to time, maybe it's time to start... after all the steroid scandals, that sounds downright wholesome.


*last week.

Please Go a Little Bit Gentler Into That Good Night?

Whatever the YES network pays its analysts... it's not enough.

I was flipping through the channels last night and came across Al Leiter, of all people, on Spike TV's Pros vs. Joes. Now, granted, all I know about this show is what I've read on Deadspin... but seriously, Al Leiter is no John Rocker. In fact, last I heard he was considering running for Congress! What happened?


Not that Leiter embarassed himself -- the "Joes" only got a couple hard-hit balls in many attempts off him, and the Spike TV radar gun clocked him at 91 and 92 miles per hour, once even 93. (Since I can't recall him ever hitting that as a Yankee in his last season, I'm a bit skeptical, but I'm willing to let it pass). Weirdly, the guy who won - by hitting 1 triple in 10 swings, and later getting down a nice bunt - was named David Ortiz.

(UPDATE: Per this SI.com interview Leiter gave on the topic:

This was his opportunity to get back at every beer guzzling, hot dog chomping, chain-smoking blowhard that taunted him during his 18-year career. Although Leiter does wish this chance would have come a few years ago while he was in the visiting bullpen in Philadelphia.

"This is as close as you're going to get to getting back at them on the field," says Leiter, who is the first pitcher to have defeated all 30 MLB teams. "You couldn't get an active athlete to come out here while under contract and really get after it. That would be the best. Having a guy that yells at you at Veteran Stadium, 'Leiter you suck!' and then say, "Come on down." That would be the best reality show ever, but this is pretty close."

So... he's not looking for money, but revenge? I guess I can get behind that.)

Getting a little off-topic, I found it odd that the "Pros" -- in this case, also including Nick Van Exel and Warren Moon -- all root for each other. I mean, as far as I know they weren't friends before this; why not root for the regular dude to win some prize money? Do they feel the reputations of all aging ex-athletes hang in the balance? Or do they just support other rich and famous people on general principles?

Anyway, speaking of retiring pitchers who played for both the Mets and Yankees...Newsday's Dave Lennon reports that El Duque's offseason foot surgery was not for his bunion, as previously thought:

The bunion on his right foot is still there and its causing him problems this spring.

El Duque had surgery to fix a dislocated second toe, which is now actually shorter, affecting his balance. Because of that, Hernandez is lagging behind the other pitchers as he tries to adjust. At the moment, he's planning to face hitters on Saturday.

Duque also talked about retirement for the first time saying its 50-50 after this season. He jokingly slid out his nameplate and said, "Someone else next year."

Jeremy Cothran of the Ledger has further disgusting details. Last year it was arthritis, then bunions... shingles and gout can only be next.





I absolutely love seeing El Duque pitch, and as the only current major leaguer to regularly throw the eephus, for both the Yankees and Mets, he's sort of the patron saint of this blog. After ten years of watching him, and a few group interviews, I still have basically no feel for his personality -- he doesn't much enjoy speaking to reporters and is hilariously shameless about pretending not to speak English, often mere seconds after speaking it perfectly well -- but Hernandez is incredibly inventive on the mound. These days he usually gets hitters out with nothing but rubber bands, thumbtacks and chewing gum, as his fastball is now practically the same speed Joba Chamberlain's changeup, but if anything it's made him even more interesting to watch.

But the guy's a lot older than he claims, and it looks like he's finally reaching the end of the line. There are few players I'll miss more... but I never want to see him on Spike TV.

Pedro, on the other hand, will need his own show.

Eephus of the Year

The Mets are back, baby. For those of you who wonder what an eephus pitch is, look no farther than the sixth inning of tonight's game, when Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez deployed a true classic to end a long, tough at-bat by the A's Eric Chavez. It floated in at 53 mph, giving Chavez time to stare, twitch, blink repeatedly, take a huge swing, and miss by a mile. That is an eephus. Some people will try to convince you that El Duque throws the eephus all the time, but not really; that's just his 67 mph-ish slow, slow curve, which complements his 87 mph fastball and the seven or eight other pitches he throws at odd arm angles in between, including the ones he appears to just make up on the spot. You really do have to love El Duque. Chavez smiled and shook his head as he walked away, which is always the mark of a true eephus -- well, either that or blind rage.

This actually wasn't the Mets' most crisply played game; last night's dominant 9-1 win behind Tom Glavine, his 296th, was really the "they're back" moment. And not so much because of the score, but the attitude: they were having fun again. Reyes was twitching around, dancing and shadowboxing in the dugout; everyone and the ball boy made fun of Tom Glavine, who was thrown out at the plate trying to score from first (he had two hits and two RBIs in the game and is now hitting .333; at this point, the Yankees could really use him at DH). Tonight's game also featured a Paul Lo Duca meltdown of truly epic proportions, which was both highly entertaining and slightly alarming -- it took the assembled talents of the entire Mets coaching staff to coax him back to the dugout. You know, anyone can think to toss their helmet, bat, and gloves onto the field, but adding the shin guards and chest protector was a nice touch. As with most creative endeavors, it's all in the details.

The Yankees are also back, but unfortunately, in their case, this is not a good thing. More on them tomorrow. Oy.

Speaking of which, apparently this is Jewish Baseball Week and no one remembered to tell me: the Times has an article about the new Israel Baseball League. This is a nice idea and I hope it works out -- hell, the more baseball the better as far as I'm concerned, wherever, whenever. The league will feature a 51-year-old pitcher from Nyack; expect to see Ricky Henderson playing there by next year. (The article doesn't say: do you have to be Jewish to play in the league? Both ethically and for the sake of quality play, I certainly hope the answer is no).

Unfortunately their director of player development over there is Dan "it's 1996, and this seems like a good time to publicly declare that Roger Clemens is in the twilight of his career" Duquette. And they're all excited, because the demand for tickets is so high, they had to double the available seating at one field to accommodate the fans... from, uh, 1,000 to 2,000. Yay?

Oh well, I shouldn't make fun, they're just getting started. Watch out, Devil Rays! The Modi'in Miracle are coming for your attendance records!

Could I Possibly Love Endy Chavez Any More?

Answer: not really, no. The Catch last fall was obviously awesome, but in a smaller way, his game-winning, walk-off drag bunt tonight in the 12th inning of the Mets-Rockies game was just as cool. Don't think I won't be there July 13th to pick up my free Endy Chavez bobblehead. (Also, if you follow that link you'll find that Paul Lo Duca's upcoming bobblehead will be sponsored by "Gold's Horseradish," which is fabulous).

Anyway, it was a good, taught game all around. I was at Shea with my friend Chris, who snagged free last-minute tickets. El Duque was awesome, confusing the hell out of the Rockies hitters, though sadly, unlike in his last start, I don't believe he threw an eephus. In the bottom of the 10th, with the Mets trailing 1-0 thanks to a slightly-too-exciting outing from Billy Wagner, pinch-hitter Damion Easley came up with two outs, batting .100 so far this season. The count quickly went to 0-2.

Chris: Oh well. It's tough to come into the game cold, and face a guy with this kind of delivery.
Me: Yeah, especially if you're Damion Easley.
Damion Easley: (400 foot home run)
Everyone: Whhhhhooooooooooooooo!
(beat)
Chris: We called it.
Me: Knew it all along.

I'll take a walk-off two-out drag-bunt over a walk-off two-out homer any day, though. I'm sure it's been done many times, but I can't recall ever seeing it before (Hell will freeze over, thaw, and freeze again before you ever see a Yankee try it). Chavez's bunt was well-conceived, unexpected -- by the Rockies' defense especially -- and perfectly executed. Judging by the look on Willie Randolph's face, and the huge, long hug he gave Chavez afterwards, I don't think even he saw that one coming. Everything's clicking for the Mets right now, even on a night when their offense was almost totally stifled; the winning run came on a walk, a bunt, a balk, a walk, and a bunt hit. Now that's what I call National League baseball.

Saint Eeephus Rides Again

It was a good night for El Duque, the patron saint of this blog (being one of the only current major leaguers who'll actually throw an occasional eephus). He went seven innings, throwing a cornucopia of pitches from all arm angles and occasionally, as catcher Paul Lo Duca put it after the game, “inventing stuff out there.” And as if that weren’t enough, he went two for three at the plate, doubling in two runs.

The big question with Hernandez (other than “but seriously, how old IS this guy”?) is always whether he’ll stay healthy, not how well he'll do when he is. But the Mets are starting out with a bang, proving yet again the utter irrelevancy of spring training records. In two games they’ve scored 10 runs, allowed two, and turned seven double plays, all against the team they lost an excruciating Game 7 to last fall.

Continuing the exorcise-the-demons theme, tomorrow they face former deeply ineffective Mets closer Braden Looper, who is now suddenly a starter. Converting Looper seems like a bad idea to me, if only because it implies a kind of scrambling desperation, and April’s a bit early for that… but then again, you know if I trash the idea at any length he’ll come out and throw a one-hitter. Worked for Gil Meche, didn’t it?