August 17, 2006

Hey, We Can't All Be Sal Fasano

I was really hoping that if I ignored Jason Giambi's mustache it would go away, but I see now that's not the case. Giambi claims that this is a tribute to the glory days of Don Mattingly, but, Jason? Donnie Baseball never starred in "Tell Them Johnny Wadd Is Here". Every time I see that thing onscreen I flinch and reach for the nearest heavy object, like I do when I see a roach in a my apartment.

What Yankee would you most like to see grow a serious mustache? I vote for Mariano Rivera; that would be either incredibly cool or side-splittingly funny, and I want to find out which.

It's times like this I wish I owned Photoshop.

In less important news... the Yankees broke ground on their new stadium yesterday, before losing to the Orioles 3-2, and like most people I'm conflicted (about the new stadium, not the loss to the Orioles, which my feelings are quite clear on). As much as the current Stadium holds fond memories for me, the building itself is, if we're being honest, not exactly aesthetically stunning. In Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bronx is Burning, which I can't seem to find at the moment to quote, Jonathan Mahler describes the Stadium after its 1970s renovation as a gray concrete fortress isolated in the South Bronx, and unfortunately I think that's not far off, though of course the field itself is spectacular. I'm dreading the increased luxury boxes and inevitably more expensive tickets, and I'm going to miss being able to say that Babe Ruth played on this exact field and Billy Martin tried to kill Reggie Jackson in that precise dugout. But despite all that, I have to admit the world will be a slightly prettier place.

Finally, I do not want to hear the words "Jeter" and "slump" together in a sentence until the guy's average is down below at least .330. For pete's sake, people.


Devine said...

A-Rod for the mustache. I smiled very hard just now thinking about it. What an excellent mental exercise.

Devine said...

Seriously, I now am thinking about all the different kinds of mustaches Alex Rodriguez could have. A sort of bushy, walrusy one, a Fu Manchu...but I'm having the most fun thinking of him having one of those mustaches that lifts and curls delicately at the ends (Barber of Seville?--is that the mental image?).

The funny part is imagining this with his smooth skin and lightly colored eyes.

Minee said...

Someone actually did photoshop the team with mustaches -

Chien Ming Wang looks quite silly!

Emma said...

Awesome. Thanks for posting that, minee. Say it with me: I love the internet.

I can't decide if Mike Mussina looks more like Teddy Roosevelt, or the straight-man half of a 1920s comedy team.

minee said...

Yeah the internet rocks! The Yankees taking 3 out of 4 thus far rocks even more!

Personally Mussina reminded me of the Pringles dude w/o the swirly edges.

Emma said...

I do believe you've nailed it. I will now probably think of Pringles every time I see Mike Mussina, and vice versa...

By the way, more and more Yankees are jumping on the porn 'stache bandwagon these days. I'm all for team bonding in general, but this is NOT the look for Ron Villone. More on this later, no doubt.