Found the Wright Pun!

Poor Jake Westbrook. When Doug Mientkiewicz homers off you, it ain’t your night.

Looking back, the Indians should have heeded that warning sign, but they left him in, and it got too late fast. That’s like seeing rivers run red with blood and thinking, "eh, it's probably just kelp or something." Dougie Eyechart’s portent of doom was followed by hits from Damon and Abreu, another Alex Rodriguez homer (yawn!), a Giambi single, and a Posada home run.

Chase "God's Gift to Headline Writers" Wright, for his part, did as well as you can expect a barely-AA rookie in his first start to do. You can't hold a Travis Hafner home run against anyone. He had his rocky moments, but got through five and kept things under control. No doubt that seven-run lead helped out there. Anyway, I am cautiously optimistic, but that doesn’t mean I’m not fervently hoping that Chien-Ming Wang skips his rehab start, and gets his ass back here in time for the Red Sox series. The Yanks are now 6-6, which doesn't sound very good until you remember that the New York rotation includes exactly one healthy pitcher you can expect a quality start from. His name is Andy Pettitte, and his elbow is, frankly, liable to explode at any time.

But hey, Paul O'Neill is back in the booth! Okay, I realize he's not necessarily a great announcer, and kind of tends to... well, not understand some of Michael Kay's more multisyllabic words, but I don't care, because I developed a crush on him when I was twelve. It's always good to see him.

Finally, in other pleasant news, my adopted player of the year Denard Span is getting some clutch hits for the Charlotte Knights and honoring Jackie Robinson. That's my guy... and yes, I did sign up for a Google News Alert. What's your point?