April 27, 2007

Okay But Seriously, It IS Kind Of Weird That The Stain Didn't Spread, Right?

I never seriously believed that Curt Schilling's bloody sock was faked. I mean, it's technically possible I suppose, but it's pretty damn far-fetched. I do love mentioning this theory to Red Sox fans, though, because it drives them absolutely insane -- and in the dark years since October 2004, anything you can find like that, you use. I suppose I'd react similarly if Sox fans swore that Derek Jeter's bat was corked in the 2001 World Series.

Anyway, Orioles announcer Gary Thorne is finding out how seriously the Red Sox themselves take these accusations. It certainly does sound like Thorne either misquoted or misunderstood Doug Mirabelli, but really, it's not like he's accusing Schilling of raping and slaughtering puppies here. Seems like the sort of thing it'd be wiser to laugh off, but, on his blog, Schilling... well, not so much.

Highlights:

Take Gary Thorne, John, Jack Joe or whatever his first name is, Heyman, Karen Vescey, Woody Paige, CHB, Jay Marriotti, Bill Plaschke, and a host of other people that litter the media landscape, and put them all on an island somewhere.

Does anyone stop reading their newspapers? Watching the shows they appear on? The answer to that is no. Instead of using the forums they participate in to do something truly different, change lives, inspire people, you have an entire subset of media whose sole purpose in life is to actually be the news, instead of report it. They have little to no talent at what they do and other than a mastery of the English language their skill sets are non-existent.

Watching Woody Paige or the plastered made up face of Jay Marriotti spew absolutely nothing of merit on sports, day after day, makes it easy to understand how Gary Thorne could say something as stupid, ignorant, and uninformed as he did the other night.

Goodness. There are going to be some fun columns written on Curt Schilling this season, aren't there? But then:

People have asked and I have answered, but the mileage the media got from the incident is all of their own making. When I walked into the room for the post game interviews and offered up my first response to the questions about the game I basically said that the night was a revelation for me. That my faith in God that evening showed me things I’d never believed.

As I uttered those words I could see pretty much every person in that room roll their eyes and smirk. That’s not what any of them wanted to hear, truth or not. That was not good copy...

Fuck, now I feel bad, because I totally just rolled my eyes when I read that (though I don't believe I smirked). Anyway, lest he leave any reporters unoffended:
If you haven’t figured it out by now, working in the media is a pretty nice gig. Barring outright plagiarism or committing a crime, you don’t have to be accountable if you don’t want to. You can say what you want when you want and you don’t really have to answer to anyone. You can always tell the bigger culprits by the fact you never see their faces in the clubhouse. Most of them are afraid to show themselves to the subjects they rail on everyday...
And:

The saddest part in all of this is the following. Yesterday, as I was warming up for the game, I got to see a young kid, could not have been more than 20, who had served in Iraq. He was being honored by the Orioles and threw out the first pitch. He was a double amputee who’d lost the lower portion of both of his legs serving his country. He refused to use his cane and getting to see him do that was incredible.

Instead of finding this kid and writing a story that truly matters, something that would and could truly inspire people, the media chose to focus on a story that was over two years old and a completely fabricated lie. What a job.

Someone gave me a great idea to end this once and for all. No one will ever need to bring it up again. I’ll wager 1 million dollars to the charity of anyones choice, versus the same amount to ALS. If the blood on the sock is fake, I’ll donate a million dollars to that persons charity, if not they donate that amount to ALS.

Any takers?
Well, no argument here that Iraq and its victims are more important that Schilling's sock, but you know, these are sports writers. As for the wager... darn, I know I had a million dollars lying around here somewhere. Where could I have put it? Hang on... let me check under the sofa cushions...

3 comments:

Al said...

"Dost thou protest too much?" ~ Casey Stengel

The whole think Stinks

I was too tired to write this up, but I read and saw everything.

Mirabelli confirms his original statement, but he now adds, it was sarcasm. Kinda like, oh I don't know, "mission accomplished!"

Schilling refused to go on camera, but according to Tim Kurkjian, he was robot in his replies.

As a former litigator, I jury could always tell someone was lying, when they wouldn't simply say yes or no.

And what we have here is Nixonian - perfect considering Shill's party affiliation (sic). The team doctor (Dr. Nick for short) issued a long statement on the medical benefits of cotton/poly blends (look out Johnson & Johnson) and how blood is, well, bloody. Phew! He said everything, except water is wet. Well that and he also left out a denial. Yup, it was a non-denial denial.

Now Shill weaves this Rupert Pupkin version of "Deal Or No Deal." Any minute now, he's gonna pull some ball bearings from his pocket and INSIST the strawberries were pilfered.

Say it ain't so, Shill! Just say No!©

And who wouldn't believe Shill? Its not like he perjured himself before Congress! It's not like he pulled a Gonzo and retracted his prior steroid statements, pleading ignorance.

Oh, the Hall of Shame!
Please, please Shill, offer to take a Lie-Detector! Everyone knows a polygraphs are as acurate as petulant Black Soxes

Al said...

P.S.

Schilling is silly.

Why would beat writers write about IEDs? How would you position that ?

Way to go SHILL!

Oh Shill, you forgot to tell us about you visit to Walter Reed. Ooops, DIDNT go!

"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel" ~ Dick Cheney

Emma said...

Oh, I don't know. I don't think there's any real convincing evidence that he actually faked anything -- too bad, because it would be a hilarious story if true.

Although I agree that the blog entry is over the top. Let this be a lesson to all of us... never blog angry!